November of 1996, Boot Size 4… Maybe
If you guys are just joining, then I will explain very quickly that I absolutely adore Disney World. I am a huge child at heart (despite technically still being young and to some still a child) and Disney knows how to wrench that child out and give is lollipop infused with speed. I go nuts. If you want to see a better example of my excitement over Disney, then you should read The Ball the Ball, I see the Ball! That has a pretty good explanation as to why I love the happiest place on Earth so much.
Nevertheless there are some times were Disney and I have had a few arguments. Like the time when Disney tried to kill me. I wasn’t all that thrilled when that happened.
Now that I got the dramatics out, it was mostly my fault that I almost died while in Disney. We’re going back in time, when I was four or five… some age around that bracket. The setting is the Epcot theme park. The ride? The Bill Nye the Science Guy Ride (okay, in reality is Ellen’s Energy Adventure… but I love Bill Nye).
Now the ride itself is a forty five minute ride, which means waiting in line can take a while. But back then it was a ride I loved (despite having dinosaurs in it) and so the family and I popped into line to wait.
I got bored… Very quickly.
Of course I have ADD and major energy reserves, and back then I had a lot less self control (what’s that?). So after about ten minutes I was bored and wanted something to do. So what did I do? Use my imagination dude! You see, back before internet, TV, and portable video games were around, kids generally had to amuse themselves with their imagination. My parents didn’t have an iPhone or a DS to hand off to me to melt my brains. No. I used my hyperactive four/five year old brain and made up my own games.
So I just started to run around, looking at the different sculpted bushes that are all around Epcot. Plus doing the generally kid thing of running around like an idiot. Now, you know those stanchions that keep you in line while waiting in line?
Yeah, the ropes that string between the poles hung right at the level of my five-year-old throat.
Running around at full speed I met the rope in a full on clothesline. I hit the ground, bashing the back of my head into the cement. My parents promptly freaked out, but were relieved by my next actions.
I screamed my little head off.
Some may be confused. Why is screaming a good thing? Well my dear if you are not aware, if I had not screamed there was a high chance I would not have survived. I had hit the rope hard enough my parents were terrified that I had crushed my throat, which is very much deadly, and if my throat had been crushed it is highly likely that I would not have survived.
I will not lie I don’t really remember the pain anymore. But I can imagine that it hurt. A lot. I mean, clothesline to the throat followed by concrete to the head is not something you can just shake off. Thankfully I survived, and here I have to give huge credit to the workers there. Despite the fact that my parents were not going to try and sue/blame the Disney cast for my idiotic mistake, they were quick and responsive to make sure i was okay. And for all that pain I was given a Bill Nye science kit, which was pretty awesome.
Totally worth the pain, but I have no intention to repeat my actions, and I don’t suggest you mimic me.
Until my Next Adventure,